COUNSEL OF GOD - FAMILY

In our first article on the Counsel of God we described the Foundation of Christian Counseling. Refer to link Counsel Of God - Foundation for more information. We stated that the true Counsel of God is fellowship with the Heavenly Father and Lord Jesus Christ. We stated that the Counsel of God is not a one or two session event, but rather a life-style. A bond between you and God that last throughout eternity. The Counsel of God involves His written counsel (His Word) in agreement with Holy Spirit of Counsel as the Divine Counselor. The two of these always agree with the Will of our Heavenly Father and His Divine Son, Christ Jesus. Jesus is the Head of the Church, He is the Head of the Body of Christ and His word tells us that He desires your company. One of the beautiful things about being a Christian is that the Lord is always present. He lives in your heart and He is always ready to speak to you about things concerning your life. This leaves the responsibility of fellowship solely upon our shoulders. The reason we have not proper knowledge or understanding about the particular details of our life is generally because we have not sought God diligently.

Hebrews 11:6
But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. KJV

Or we simply lack the humility to ask God what He would have us do in certain situations. Notice Matthew 7:7-11

7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
9 Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?
10 Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?
11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? KJV

These verses show us the will of our Heavenly Father. The Holy Bible clearly shows us that our Loving Father God sent the Lord Jesus Christ to not only die for your personal sins but also help you to live a victorious life upon the earth. The will of God for all of His children is that they are free from all the bondage. The world’s system motivated by the evil one is designed to deceive you by tricking you into trouble. The snares and traps of the devil causes real problems but the true tragedy comes from millions who don’t even know they are trapped. This leads us to our next lesson, which is “Counseling Family Members”. The counseling of any person takes time, knowledge, faith, patience, understanding, wisdom and most of all God’s Grace. The counseling of family members is more reliant upon God’s leading and grace which makes it one of the most challenging witness. This is because it forces the believer to not only walk the talk but your level of the fruit of the Spirit will certainly be measured in this task. We will discuss this scenario first because it is the most popular even with it’s unique challenges. We can see in the life of Jesus, our Lord, our Hero and our Master, that He was not able to convert His immediate family during the beginning of His earthly ministry, yes, conversion of family members typically takes time.

Matthew 12:46-50
46 While he yet talked to the people, behold, his mother and his brethren stood without, desiring to speak with him.
47 Then one said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee.
48 But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren?
49 And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren!
50 For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother. KJV

This can be due to familiarity, your family member knows you as their brother, sister, father or mother. This means they do not know you as their preacher. The man or woman of God has to know to keep on following God’s Will for their life even at the expense of their own family members. Notice verse 46 stated that they stood without, this is another way of saying that they didn’t come to hear what he was saying, but rather they desire to tell him what they thought he ought to be doing. This was a specific distraction to tempt Jesus to follow man, or as it would be in this case follow family’s counsel over the perfect will of God for His life. I am glad to see Jesus stayed focused on the Heavenly Father’s business which is ministering to the people in a effort to help mankind. Jesus not only ignored his family but drew a clear separation for His real spiritual family in verse 50.

For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.

Luke 2:48-50 states the same principle in another way

48 And when they saw him, they were amazed: and his mother said unto him, Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing.
49 And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business?
50 And they understood not the saying which he spake unto them. KJV

These words of truth probably didn’t seem real spiritual to the family member who wasted their time and efforts to try to have Jesus do their will, but it sent a clear message that they should not attempt to lead the Master. Many people don’t yet realize that Jesus is the Lord whether they acknowledge Him as Savoir or not. He is still Lord of all.

Acts 10:36-38
36 The word which God sent unto the children of Israel, preaching peace by Jesus Christ: (he is Lord of all:)
37 That word, I say, ye know, which was published throughout all Judaea, and began from Galilee, after the baptism which John preached;
38 How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him. KJV

Just like our Heavenly Father is the only true and living God independently of what anyone thinks about Him.

Acts 17:27-28
27 That they should seek the Lord, if haply they might feel after him, and find him, though he be not far from every one of us:
28 For in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain also of your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring. KJV

Man’s unbelief can not subtract from the immutability of God’s reality as the creator of the universe.

Romans 1:19-20
19 Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath shewed it unto them.
20 For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: KJV

The Lord showed himself strong by leaving us an example that we should put the Will of our Heavenly Father above the will of all men and specifically above the will of people in our very own family. In another place we find out without any question that some of His own family members sought to discourage Jesus during his public ministry. Remember John 7:3-5

3 His brethren therefore said unto him, Depart hence, and go into Judaea, that thy disciples also may see the works that thou doest.
4 For there is no man that doeth any thing in secret, and he himself seeketh to be known openly. If thou do these things, shew thyself to the world.
5 For neither did his brethren believe in him. KJV

In verse 3 his very own family brothers referred to Jesus disciples as separate people by using the term “thy disciples”, inferring that they were not. Verse 5 leaves no doubt. However I love the wisdom of God displayed in the following verses 8 to 10 of that same chapter.

John 7:8-10
8 Go ye up unto this feast: I go not up yet unto this feast; for my time is not yet full come.
9 When he had said these words unto them, he abode still in Galilee.
10 But when his brethren were gone up, then went he also up unto the feast, not openly, but as it were in secret. KJV

Jesus set up a principle here and we would be wise to pay attention to it. The action is Jesus separated himself from his natural family for the sake of his spiritual fellowship with his heavenly Father. It seems to follow the biblical principal of John 5:22-24 which states:

22 For the Father judgeth no man, but hath committed all judgment unto the Son:
23 That all men should honour the Son, even as they honour the Father. He that honoureth not the Son honoureth not the Father which hath sent him.
24 Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life. KJV

If people are openly dishonoring our Heavenly Father and trying to discourage us from following Him wholeheartedly we also should separate from their company. It is better to be alone with God, then to have a multitude of company without God. Jesus knew what was (and still is) inside of man, the Lord knew those individuals at that particular time were trying to dominate His actions. If you, precious child of God, don’t dominate your own actions other people most certainly will. People who desire to be bossy concerning your life can not (and should not) be taken lightly. Their hidden agenda is general laced with an unpure motive. Jesus knew when his family did not embrace His teaching, he knew that they could not embrace truly who He Was and who He represents, so how can they help Him in His cause. At this time in His Life they were not a wise option for deep fellowship about the things of God. Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil but they could not see His vision due to the blindness of their heart.

1 John 3:8
He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil. KJV

Now I know that may seem a little bit harsh but consider the circumstance and judge wisely. In the case of Jesus he was about to go preach in temple and quiet time in fellowship with God (the counsel of God) before you minister to people is always a good thing. Understand that these are Jesus family members so he knew with a lot of confidence exactly what they thought about Him as a minister because at this time in his ministry many people had gathered themselves unto him. If you didn’t believe on Jesus by this time in that particular region it wasn’t due to a lack of knowledge (information), it was primarily because you decided not to believe in Him. The choice was yours and yours alone. The following verse were record at the same night when Jesus went alone to temple (although He is never alone, because the Father is always with Him):

John 7:11-14
11 Then the Jews sought him at the feast, and said, Where is he?
12 And there was much murmuring among the people concerning him: for some said, He is a good man: others said, Nay; but he deceiveth the people.
13 Howbeit no man spake openly of him for fear of the Jews.
14 Now about the midst of the feast Jesus went up into the temple, and taught. KJV

I love the fact that in the midst of doubters, mumblers, and some faithful believers Jesus continued to be Jesus. What I mean by that is that He still stayed with the program of God, preaching, teaching and healing among the people. This is a fail proof recipe for success in dealing with family members. Lead primarily by example, if your own family members can’t hear the message you are living, I doubt very seriously they can hear the Gospel Word’s you are saying quite frankly in their ears. This principle is recommended to a true virtuous women in dealing with her husband in 1 Peter 3:1-4.

1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. KJV

Some key items are noteworthy, first people can be ministered to without the word, this is true only if person in their family has good conduct. According to verse 3 if you possess Godly character it will show and this outward showing will speak to the ungodly person even if they are trying not listening. The witness of God stand sure and clear because light always shows up big in areas of darkness. The darker the night the more brighter the light shines to show the way. One may ask is this only true for women dealing with men or does it have some bearing on a man trying to help a wife? I’m glad you asked that question, let us look at Ephesians 5:25-29

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: KJV

If a man is trying to help his wife the best thing he can do is act just like Jesus. The Lord’s instructions were very clear to the husband – Love your wives. People have various opinions about how to reflect their love and for this reason Jesus added the statement, “even as Christ also loved the church”. Got ya, now that is not subject to interpretation or debate because ultimately Jesus was willing to die so that His Church could have a life. Now God is not asking the man to kill himself, but the Lord is proposing this challenge. Since I know you don’t know everything about Me at this time, I am inviting you, oh man, husband, into close fellowship with Me (the counsel of God) to learn what I would do concerning your wife. This means while we spend time together you will inherently become more like Me and this will result in the actions toward your wife being more Godly. This will produce a more harmonious relationship between you, her and Me, that my friends is the big picture. For God’s children to become more like their Heavenly Father through the counsel of the Holy Spirit by the marriage to Jesus is one-hundred percent God’s perfect will for your life. Yes, I know many people will emphasize a calling or ministering to thousands as God’s perfect will but it is simply being just like Jesus. That means spending quality time with your very own Heavenly Father and Jesus (God’s Word) in an effort to be so yielded to the Holy Spirit that people actually think you are undeniable a Child of God.

John 13:34-35
34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. KJV

I know some readers will be disappointed with this article because I did not give them five easy steps to witnessing to their family but I did give you a principle. The primarily message I am projecting is this don’t try to preach to your family members. Simply answer their questions according to the word of God and be consistent in your witness for God by your lifestyle. If you would like to see them grow and develop in Christ Jesus help them find a good church home, if they ask you to help them. I am a living witness to the power of God’s Love, not because Angela personally taught me how to expound on deep biblical truths but rather she simply loved me (void of preaching). I knew in my heart without really understanding God or His Ways that she believed in me. For Heaven’s sake dear family member if you can’t believe in your own family member don’t try to witness to them. People can read a phony and a family member could easily be offended by your actions and move further away from God. Personally I can say I always could tell the difference from those who believed in me and had my best interest at heart as opposed to those who had their own best interest in mind. You will find ministering to people is a lot easier when you do it God’s Way, not your way. For the sake of those readers who were disappointed with my presentation I will give them some practical principles to follow, this list is not in order of priority, nor is the list all inclusive of all the various options for dealing with family members it only highlights some important points we (Angela and I) have learned during our walk with Christ.

Share love over doctrine (some family members might already have their own doctrine but you can still fellowship around the basic truths of God’s Word, try to harmonize on the beliefs they have that you agree with. Any fool can argue, but the Godly person seeks peace)

Matthew 22:37-40
37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. KJV

1 Peter 3:10-12
10 For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:
11 Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.
12 For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil. KJV

Do not force your personal convictions on your family members (Your revelations from God are your personal gifts from God, keep it personal to avoid unnecessary strife, for the servant of the Lord must not strive.)

Romans 14:22
Hast thou faith? have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth. KJV

2 Timothy 2:23-24
23 But foolish and unlearned questions avoid, knowing that they do gender strifes.
24 And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, KJV

1 Corinthians 8:9-13
9 But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumblingblock to them that are weak.
10 For if any man see thee which hast knowledge sit at meat in the idol's temple, shall not the conscience of him which is weak be emboldened to eat those things which are offered to idols;
11 And through thy knowledge shall the weak brother perish, for whom Christ died?
12 But when ye sin so against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience, ye sin against Christ.
13 Wherefore, if meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no flesh while the world standeth, lest I make my brother to offend. KJV

Never think that it is your responsibility to save a fellow family member (this attitude of being the Savior is dangerous and unscriptural. Many people believe that their family member should be saved, we do also. However, to say that my family member needs to be saved by me would contradict my own salvation and it would show how little my faith is in an omnipresent God. The Lord is just too Big and Marvelous to be limited to you, even your lack of faith in His system won’t stop Him from using multiple people to bring your family member into a perfect relationship with Him. Realize that God loves them every bit as much as He loves you, for our Father is no respecter of person, but He does appreciate true loving child like faith. That dares to make the statement, they are saved and in love with you Heavenly Father and I believe that so much that I treat them that way and I act like Jesus when I talk about that subject (simply meaning I speak exactly what the Word of God promised) in Jesus Name! Amen!

Numbers 11:23
And the LORD said unto Moses, Is the LORD's hand waxed short? thou shalt see now whether my word shall come to pass unto thee or not. KJV

1 Timothy 2:3-4
3 For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour;
4 Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth. KJV

1 Corinthians 7:15-17
15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
17 But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches. KJV

Even though you love your family member and empathize with them, never carry the care of them upon your shoulders (This will be tempting because you know them well and they may live with you or be close to you, but you are still a child of God. That means you are still a child in God’s eyes, it is always unhealthy for any child to be careful. We should never let care cloud our fellowship with God. When we refuse to resist careful, troubling, fearful thoughts about our love ones, we really are stating to God I don’t know if I can trust you. Yes, my friend it is a fact, if you trust the Lord to keep their soul you will understand that God can do more for them (and you) while you are in faith then you can do in fear. Carefulness brings fear (and fear works against perfect love) and fear is sin and sin brings death. Be not deceived carefulness is evil and you must judge it as so, you have to have enough fortitude of soul and spirit to not tolerate carefulness as acceptable mental activity.)

Mark 4:18-19
18 And these are they which are sown among thorns; such as hear the word,
19 And the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becometh unfruitful. KJV

1 Peter 5:6-7
6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:
7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. KJV

Philippians 4:6-9
6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
9 Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you. KJV

Pledge Allegiance to Jesus and your Heavenly Father over family ties (This sounds simple but how many people actually live it. It is easy to say I love God more than my family members but if that is true and a working reality in your life you would be thinking more about God’s Word and His fellowship (His counsels) then the situations and circumstances surrounding your family members. If you give your respective family member over to the Lord once, never take them back again. Lest you be accused of being double minded. Love God and Love all your family members but be carefree concerning men and careful of God’s goodness. I have never heard of anyone passing away due to an overdose of praising God. When the Son of Man comes back will He find you in faith on His earth? If you are faithful concerning God’s promise you will experience some joy.-Matthew 25:21 and 23)

Matthew 25:20-23
20 And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more.
21 His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.
22 He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them.
23 His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. KJV

Matthew 10:34-38
34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. KJV

Luke 5:10-11
10 And so was also James, and John, the sons of Zebedee, which were partners with Simon. And Jesus said unto Simon, Fear not; from henceforth thou shalt catch men.
11 And when they had brought their ships to land, they forsook all, and followed him. KJV

Never be faint hearted when believing for family members to be saved because God is good and faithful (It is definitely God’s Will to save your family member and if you will continue to believe that God is able and the family member is willing I can promise you God will come through. This means that you can count on God no matter what man says or how men may act. Keep your eyes focused on the faithfulness of God because God is not a man that He should lie, if He spoke it, He will do it.)

2 Corinthians 5:7
(For we walk by faith, not by sight:) KJV

Numbers 23:19-20
19 God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?
20 Behold, I have received commandment to bless: and he hath blessed; and I cannot reverse it. KJV

2 Timothy 2:13
If we believe not, yet he abideth faithful: he cannot deny himself. KJV

Galatians 6:8-9
8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.
9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. KJV

These principles are timely and effective, if you do them consistently you will be successful in ministering to your family members. Yes, not just one at a time but all who come into your influence because you are preaching to them by your lifestyle, void of words. Too many times Christian’s become critical of their family members and display a pious attitude which breeds contempt in the eyes of the family member. This is not God’s way, it paints the wrong picture of God. The best answer for helping family members is to live holy, love wholly and look to walk by faith concerning their welfare. Remember, you are still a work in progress, so are they. Family member generally love you and if they don’t they just need the Love of God shed abroad in their heart to know how. Likewise, if you really love them you will understand that it is only the Grace of God’s mercy that you are in the righteous holy family of God. Amen! Keeping that thought in mind will make it easier to understand that you are who you are solely by the Grace of God.

1 Corinthians 15:10
But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me. KJV

Romans 3:22-24
22 Even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference:
23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
24 Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus: KJV

Friend in eternity you won’t be able to brag about how much you did for your fellow family member the only thing that will matter is if they made the right decision. Since your actions might have some influence upon that decision you should esteem it an important task to show Jesus as He really is, not just how some religious people perceive him to be. That means we all know that Jesus loved on all people, He was not a man pleaser, nor was He a man condemner. Amen! Go thou and do likewise.

John 3:16-17
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. KJV

John 8:10-11
10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more. KJV

We mentioned here some basic principles to keep in mind when dealing with a family member this only gives you a strategy for how to think about helping those who may be in need of some spiritual assistance. It is a fact that some family members can speak about the Lord in an open format and even discuss biblical issues to the point of agreement. Those who enjoy this type of communion around God’s Word are probably not the people who need to read an article about how to minister to family member because their first family, as fellow Christians, has already taken precedence in their everyday life.

Acts 16:32-34
32 And they spake unto him the word of the Lord, and to all that were in his house.
33 And he took them the same hour of the night, and washed their stripes; and was baptized, he and all his, straightway.
34 And when he had brought them into his house, he set meat before them, and rejoiced, believing in God with all his house. KJV

We can be encouraged that every single person in the world today is a candidate for God’s goodness, people are going through changes in their life right now, some for good and some for bad. In every situation presented to us in this life God is always there and He is always ready to help. We must keep in mind that if our relationship with certain family evolves to closer fellowship around the things of God that is an extra blessing, but realize that our closest fellowship should be with the Lord. That means if my relationship with my fellow family member wavers my personal fellowship with the Lord should remain constant. The Lord will help you to know when to speak about a certain issue and when to totally leave that issue alone.

Ecclesiastes 3:7
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; KJV

Proverbs 27:10-11
10 Thine own friend, and thy father's friend, forsake not; neither go into thy brother's house in the day of thy calamity: for better is a neighbour that is near than a brother far off.
11 My son, be wise, and make my heart glad, that I may answer him that reproacheth me. KJV

The key is are we doing what He has told us to do,
or are we performing our own will?

If you don’t have a specific assignment from the Lord concerning a certain family member you are safe and wise to just do nothing until you have some peace about what you will do (or what you should say). One must remember that Jesus is Lord and that means He should be running the show. The question is are we being led, or are we just simply leading other family members to be like us. Always default to a safe mode of quiet first, listen to God’s Word second, and thirdly speak if asked for help.

James 1:19-20
19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:
20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. KJV

If a person isn’t humble enough to ask for your help when they need it, they are probably not humble enough to receive your counsel when you freely give it to them. The Lord desires for us to help hurting people but only through His Grace. If the person is not receiving God’s Word freely and openly in heart we must be wise enough to recognize that God is not force feeding any one. God does not push His good will upon any people, His constant desire is for man to value God’s counsel and spend the time necessary to become like God (specifically just like the Lord Jesus Christ, who went about doing good and healing those who were oppressed of the devil, for God was with Him.)

Acts 10:38
How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him. KJV

When we follow the simple guideline of going about doing good to our fellow man, including family members, then how and when to heal the broken hearted will follow.

Luke 2:52
And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man. KJV

Typically, the Lord sees how we handle the smaller task before honoring us with larger graces. This is because if we don’t display the proper character traits being used by God will go to our head instead of our heart, allowing pride to hurt our fellowship with God and our fellow man. We are constantly watched by God to see if we will be doers of His Word first, then He will confirm His Word with the proper signs (manifestations) following.-Mark 16:11 The more experience we gain on ministering God’s Word the grace we should be able to see operating in our life. The grace doesn’t always have to be the manifestation of healing it very well could be knowing the outcome before it is physically apparent, independently of the other persons words or actions. The more you grow in Christ Jesus seeing the end result will become more clearer. Seeing where something is headed will help you know what to prepare for and also what things to stay away from.

1 Corinthians 12:7-8
7 But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal.
8 For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit; KJV

For example, I had an aunt that I really cared for and another family member mentioned to me to come pray for her. Being zealous of the miracle power of God I agreed expecting to see the power of God manifest in that particular individual. My wife had a word of wisdom that the aunt was going to go home to be with the Lord. I went I prayed she when home to be with the Lord. Feeling disappointed I questioned the Lord, upon further examination I found out the Lord had spoken what was going to happen I just didn’t understand it at that time in my walk with Christ. I remember even my aunt stated why did you wait so long, she told me she was tired. She had given up on fighting the disease, and now I am trying to send in re-enforcement troops. Her will was set to go to her home in heaven and that my friend is all right. Her will won out over mine as it always will when trying to force your faith and will over another persons heart and mind.

Matthew 9:28-29
28 And when he was come into the house, the blind men came to him: and Jesus saith unto them, Believe ye that I am able to do this? They said unto him, Yea, Lord.
29 Then touched he their eyes, saying, According to your faith be it unto you. KJV

Matthew 9:22
But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour. KJV

For this reason I routinely remind myself that people have a God given right to believe what they want in the manner that they want to. Our calling in life is to offer help in a godly fashion for what they ask for, if we can. I know I can not help everyone and neither can you. So purpose to do your part under the direction of God’s Word in complete subjection to the leading of the Holy Spirit of God. Looking back she never did ask me to come pray for her I assumed I should from the counsel of another, which was not the counsel of God. This is why I stay away from quick answers and suggestion about issues of health and wellness. These items must be handled with God’s Word, your faith, and with some conviction about what the Lord is speaking to your heart. If you don’t have a specific revelation from God proceed with confidence to stand on God’s Word, because many times in my own life this has gotten the job done. If you do nothing because you are afraid no good will become of it. However, if you are patient and pray to God first about the situation I firmly believe He will help you by enlightening you on your part. This could mean anything from doing nothing at all or going to visit them in the hospital and anointing them with oil. Whatever the case may be just follow the counsel of God’s Word in the spirit of love and you will be fine. Ministering healing to people is more of an art than a science, which means the same formula doesn’t always yield the same result. One has to learn which colors and shading work for each picture of healing separately. Another major difference is that formulas can usually be worked fast, where as painting a picture (art) takes time, talent and patience to do it right. I would much rather try to offer God’s Healing to a family member in need with the risk of some rejection, then to not offer it because I am afraid to bear the reproach of Christ. When major sickness or disease is the issue it is the only time I deviate from my usual passive approach. If Angela or I do offer once and they say they are fine we usually will give them their space and pray privately, as compared to publicly for our God is still in covenant with us and He may show mercy and heal them simply because we asked him to.

Matthew 18:18-19
18 Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. KJV

This is not always the case but it can work for an unbeliever and/or baby Christians at first. I do not recommend this approach toward prayer for Christians who have been walking with the Lord for quite some time, the Lord expects more from them. It is fair and right for the Lord to expect each one of His children to grow up in Christ Jesus, it is unfair for a full grown Christian who is capable of walking to be carried around like a baby Christian by fellow believers. The Holy Bible clearly states for each individual disciple of the Lord to take up their own cross and follow Jesus.

Matthew 16:24
Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. KJV

Ephesians 4:13-15
13 Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:
14 That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;
15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: KJV

One final thought I must share with you is that your fruit of the witness you gave of Christ does not stop on a certain day or time. The example when we look at the ministry of Jesus and how it affected His family we see very little positive result at the beginning of His ministry. However toward the end of His public ministry we see a sign of heart felt alliance by His mother to the cause of Christianity.

John 19:25-27
25 Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother, and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene.
26 When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son!
27 Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home. KJV

We can notice that His very own mother submitted herself to His commandment by placing herself under the care and residence of John the Apostle. This shows us that she did believe on Him, thus she believed in His message. Was she their at the crucifixion because He was her Son? Maybe. However, I choose to believe that she was there as a fellow disciple, a follower of Christ Jesus all the way unto death. When she decided to stay with John she was publicly selecting her Christian family before her natural family. Remember she had natural family members still living that certainly could of taken care of her but she chose to follow the commandment of Jesus. The choice was hers and she made the right one. Remember he/she that loves their own family members more than Jesus Christ is not worthy to be His disciple.- Matthew 10:37 This happened right before He died on the cross but another example happen even after His death, burial and resurrection. His brother chose to believe the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ also. This is shown by the actions recorded in Galatians 1:18-19

18 Then after three years I went up to Jerusalem to see Peter, and abode with him fifteen days.
19 But other of the apostles saw I none, save James the Lord's brother. KJV

Notice that not only was he Jesus brother but he was an apostle. A gifted believer of influence. We see one of his decisions of influence are being made in Acts 15:12-20

12 Then all the multitude kept silence, and gave audience to Barnabas and Paul, declaring what miracles and wonders God had wrought among the Gentiles by them.
13 And after they had held their peace, James answered, saying, Men and brethren, hearken unto me:
14 Simeon hath declared how God at the first did visit the Gentiles, to take out of them a people for his name.
15 And to this agree the words of the prophets; as it is written,
16 After this I will return, and will build again the tabernacle of David, which is fallen down; and I will build again the ruins thereof, and I will set it up:
17 That the residue of men might seek after the Lord, and all the Gentiles, upon whom my name is called, saith the Lord, who doeth all these things.
18 Known unto God are all his works from the beginning of the world.
19 Wherefore my sentence is, that we trouble not them, which from among the Gentiles are turned to God:
20 But that we write unto them, that they abstain from pollutions of idols, and from fornication, and from things strangled, and from blood. KJV

Notice how the verses we looked at earlier recorded the Lord’s brothers as referring to Christians as “thy disciples”, whereas now James uses the word “brethren”, and “we”. James was a leader in the advancement of the movement toward Christianity. Being converted He was able to strengthen his brethren, he chose to change his physical family allegiance into the family of God. These examples give us a positive and real hope (blessed assurance) that the seeds we sow of truth and love when we preach Christ Jesus by our lifestyle are growing and a full harvest may come at any time. Yes, some fruit will come while we are going about our everyday business, some fruit comes up in a time of trouble (the crucifixion) and some fruit still follows after we are resurrected into His glory (the Lord’s brother). We know that if we are faithful to do our part, the Lord is always faithful to do His part. We live out His salvation for us while He Is the Salvation of the world, and this includes our very own family members. Amen! Our part is to lift up the person of Jesus through outward demonstrations of Love, and His Holy Spirit will use that testimony to draw your love one’s unto Christ Jesus.

John 12:30-33
30 Jesus answered and said, This voice came not because of me, but for your sakes.
31 Now is the judgment of this world: now shall the prince of this world be cast out.
32 And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me.
33 This he said, signifying what death he should die. KJV

The sign that Jesus left for His disciples is that in death there is victory. In our willingness to die to our selfish desires we are allowing His Love and Truth to be glorified, raised up in the earth as testimony to Jesus. We must simply remember that the more we rely on His Grace the less we will rely on the works of our flesh. We must open up the veil by crucifying our flesh to allow the light of the glorious Gospel of Jesus Love to shine through.

John 3:28-30
28 Ye yourselves bear me witness, that I said, I am not the Christ, but that I am sent before him.
29 He that hath the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled.
30 He must increase, but I must decrease. KJV

This is a process and it takes a lifetime, yes, your lifetime. The moment you realize that by grace we are saved through faith, you will understand that this principle is true for your family members also.

Ephesians 2:8-9
8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9 Not of works, lest any man should boast. KJV

Be a faithful witness of Love to your family members and let God’s grace do the rest. Preach Jesus 24/7 by your lifestyle and if you need to speak about the Lord’s Will (His Holy Word). Do this in humbleness and meekness so that the major picture of displaying God’s Love will never get overshadowed by the works of the flesh. We love our family members and we desire to help them. The fact remains that God loves them much more and He can help them much more than we can, if we don’t hinder Him by your actions toward them, but rather compliment His Gospel of truth by our actions and motives of Love. Amen!

John 13:34-35
34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another. KJV

In His Love, Eric & Angela Foster

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